Covid.
A New Business.
A Widow’s Retreat.
Writing A Book.
Looking back at 2021, things happened that I never would have expected. I never would have thought I would have contracted Covid. I never would have thought I would have started a new business with Scentsy and earned awards. I never would have thought I would go to a widows retreat, alone, miles away. I never would have thought I would become an official author.
Yet, here I am. I’ve done it all.
I couldn’t be more proud of myself.
It wasn’t an easy year by any means. It’s hard to explain how even two years later, grief can be so difficult. Grief will always be a part of our journey. 2021 would have been our 20th wedding anniversary. I have no doubt that if Mark was here we would have made it. We had a marriage that went through so much but we stuck together. Celebrating 20 years was not something I wanted to celebrate alone. But I did. And I survived.
Hannah and I will always struggle with grief. We will always miss Mark. And that’s okay.
Yet, despite still grieving heavily, we had quite a year. Hannah and I both struggled with Covid. It took almost 3 weeks for me to feel myself again. Hannah–she was sick for a couple days. But we made it. We survived. We thank God we did. We know many people we weren’t so lucky, including my uncle and sister-in-law whom we miss deeply.
After recovering from Covid, I needed something to keep my mind busy. Scentsy was always something Mark really enjoyed. I decided to join as something to do. I never would have guessed that I would be one of only 14% of consultants who hit the Scensational Start Level 2. It continues to be something that I enjoy.
In the summer, I did something I never thought I would do. I went to Florida to a Widows Retreat. All. By. Myself. I was absolutely terrified! It took so much courage for me to do that. It was completely out of my comfort zone. But I was so glad I took that step. I went there a broken and lonely widow but I came back feeling healed, strong and ready to keep moving forward and doing what was best for Hannah and I.
What am I missing?
Oh, yeah! The book! 🙂
It was always a dream of mine to write a book. Mark really pushed me to do it. But the timing never felt right. I was an exhausted caregiver and mother to a toddler. The last thing I felt I could do was take on writing a book. But when Mark passed, I knew it was time. I also knew why I didn’t feel the timing was right before. God’s hand was all over Mark’s passing and I needed to include that story. I listened to God and I was so glad I did. Everything fell into place with the book and it was published at a perfect time. I don’t know how many hands my book has fell into but if it falls into one person’s hands and helps them, that’s all that matters.
As I leave 2021, I feel peace. I feel hope. I feel joy. I miss Mark. I think of him every day. I always will. But I’m another year closer to seeing him again. I know I will see him again. In the meantime, my journey isn’t complete here. I don’t know what 2022 has in store for me but I’m ready for it.
Happy New Year to all my family and friends. I love you all!
tammywondra.com 