Yesterday was Hannah’s birth mom’s birthday. I usually don’t mention it to Hannah but as she is getting older I’ve been sharing more and more about dates like that and talking more about her birth mom.

But as she gets older, there also becomes more questions. I admit sometimes the questions are just plain hard.

Yesterday she asked if we could call her. No, we don’t have her phone number. She wanted to know if we could look her up on Facebook. No, I didn’t think that was a good idea. She wanted to know why. How do I explain that it’s all for her own good? To her, she’s just another person who loves her but to me, for an 11-year-old it could get super complicated and confusing, especially since she has been through so much already. She knows when she turns 18 she is more than welcome to make her own decisions and if she chooses to look for her birth mom then, I will not only support her but I will go to the ends of the Earth to help her.

But the biggest question she asked was “Does my birth mom still remember me? Cause I feel like she doesn’t”

My heart sank. “Of course she still remembers you. She thinks about you every day”.

“But why doesn’t she reach out? I know you don’t have her phone number anymore because it’s been changed but she has ours. I know she said she would contact you when she wanted to be in contact but she hasn’t for a long time. Why doesn’t she reach out? I don’t think she remembers me at all. Is she even still alive?”

How I wish I had the perfect words for her.

I honestly didn’t know what to say to her. I know that giving Hannah to another family to raise was so incredibly hard on her. I know she went through a lot. I didn’t spend much time with her but I know those two days I did, I knew she loved Hannah and still loves her with all her heart. This hasn’t been easy on her at all.

I took a deep breath and looked into my daughter’s eyes and said “Honey, I can’t answer why she hasn’t contacted us. I have no answers. I hope she’s still alive. What I do know is that she loves you with all her heart. She cried so hard when you were born because she was sad she couldn’t raise you. I know she has her reasons and we may never know. But I know without a doubt that she thinks of you every single day”

There are days I’m glad we don’t have contact but there are also days I wish we did. I can’t even try to contact her through our agency because the agency lost their license due to some “shady fees” and no longer exists. I found that out when I was watching Good Morning America when Hannah was 9 months old and it came on as breaking news. Can you imagine? If it would have lost its license just 3 months earlier before Hannah’s adoption was final, it is very possible the adoption never would have been finalized but because it was already finalized, it was determined the adoption would stand.

It was a crazy moment for sure, but a moment God sure had a hand in.

I wish I could give Hannah more comfort in knowing her birth mom hasn’t forgotten her. I wish something more than my words would help ease her heart. Her birth mom did write her a letter that some day I will give to Hannah. I know she has to be mature enough to read and process it so the timing of that letter is to be determined. I’ve never read the letter so I have no idea what it says. Have I been tempted? Ummm, yeah! But she wrote that letter to Hannah and for Hannah only. I’m sure that letter would help ease her mind about how much she is loved and never forgotten.

What I do know is that she loved Hannah so much that she knew she wouldn’t be able to give her a better life and chose to have her be raised by people who could. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is. I always tell Hannah she is so blessed to have two moms that love her so much whereas most people just have one.

I know one day they will meet and all Hannah’s fears about her remembering her will be erased. Until then, it can be so hard to ease a child’s mind. I just pray I have the right words to help her understand

“Are you ever going to date again?”

That seems to be the question I get asked a lot.

Truth is, it seems like with widowhood, you just can’t do it right. If you start dating sooner than people think you should, some people see that has “moving too fast” or “forgetting your spouse”. But, if you don’t date in the time people think is “acceptable”, you’re “not moving on” and “your spouse would want you to be happy”.

I’ve heard it all.

“You need to move on” (as a side note, “moving forward” is better terminology. I think all widows will tell you they will never move on after losing a spouse, but they will move forward)

“Mark would want you to be happy”

“It’s okay to date”

Trust me. I know all that. More than anything, Mark wants me happy. He told me that for years. All he ever wanted was for his girls to be happy.

Right now, I am very happy. I love that I can give to Hannah 100%. I love that I have the freedom that I can travel with her and do things with her. I love that I don’t have to answer to anyone or ask if I can do something.

And can I be real honest?

For over 18 years, I was married to a wonderful, courageous man whom I was so in love with. But, it was over 18 years of so much caregiving, stress, very little sleep, doctors, hospital stays. To me, relationship/marriage is taking care of someone and caregiving. While I know that’s not the case, it’s all I’ve ever known honestly. Mark was my first real relationship. My first year of marriage with Mark was filled with numerous hospital and ER visits and two major surgeries. While I certainly know it wasn’t Mark’s fault, the reality is for me, the concept of marriage was always worrying, exhaustion, always taking care of someone, going to the doctor, spending nights at the hospital, etc.

Right now, I can give 100% to Hannah and not worry about having to take care of someone else. Also, I know one day she won’t want to spend all this time with me and I want to take advantage of this time that she actually still likes me and wants to be around me. I love that I can give so much to just her and I know Mark is thrilled with that too.

Will I date again? I don’t know. God knows my future. I know if it’s meant to be it will happen in the right time. I just keep my heart open and I know God will guide me to whatever is in store for me. What I do know is that it will be good and I’m excited for whatever my future holds.

For now, I’m going to take every opportunity I can for myself and my daughter. I’m truly happy and content.

God is good all the time!

I’ll never forget the moment when we were in Hawaii and I got the call that Mark had less than 24 hours to live. We were going to be in Hawaii for 4 more days. Of course we know Mark hung in there until I made it home and I was there with him when he passed. Truly his last gift to me and I feel blessed. But at the time, I felt in my heart that my husband would pass while I was thousands of miles away. I was devastated beyond words.

I’ll never forget what my pastor Chris said to me: “Tammy, this may come as a shock and surprise to you but not to God. He isn’t surprised by any of this. He knew the day Mark was born the day Mark would die. He’s got this”.

Those words have stuck with me and comforted me through so much. Through friends and family sudden deaths. Those questions, those ”what ifs” we always think about.

I get comments sometimes about how it would have been better if Mark had passed the week after we got home. Why when we were gone? I admit it was hard being away during his dying days. I wish I would have been there. I’m still trying to make Hawaii be a “nice” place for me. When I think of Hawaii, I have nightmares. Same with Hannah. Probably something we will always struggle with.

But what I don’t know is what God protected us from. What if we would have been home when Mark passed? Nothing we could have done would have changed anything. Mark was going to die on September 23, 2019. It could have been a fall down the stairs. An accident. Hannah could have witnessed it. We could be dealing with so many other things related to his death. We don’t know

What I do know is the last time Hannah saw Mark was him waving so hard, smiling so big and yelling to her “Have a fun time sweetie! I’ll see you soon!” You can’t put a price on that.

While I do wish I could have been there more for him those last days, I trust God’s plans. He protected us from something. There is so much comfort in knowing Hannah’s last memory of him is so positive. We can also stay in our home as a comforting place as he didn’t die at home. So many friends and family have had to leave their home because it was too painful. I’m blessed we can stay.

Death will never be a perfect situation. There will always be the “what if’s”. But we can take comfort that the day is already planned out. God’s got this

God is good. All the time.

I love to share stories of when I just know God was there.

Many know that we were in Hawaii when we found out Mark was passing away. I was able to make it home before he passed but it was tough for days in Hawaii

Last fall a group of us planned a trip to Hawaii for this spring. We were going to a different island as I knew I couldn’t go back to the same one. I also knew I wanted to go back as I love Hawaii and I wanted it to be a wonderful and safe place again. I knew Mark would want that too.

I had a lot of anxiety about going back but I worked hard to get through that. Very hard. Lots of talking to others, praying and tons of support. After a few months I felt I was ready to go back and I was excited.

Then, one member of our group cancelled. Then another. Then another. Then it was too much and we all cancelled. I was devastated. This was my chance to redeem Hawaii and it was taken away. Hannah was disappointed too but she admitted she was a bit relieved as she was worried about the emotions that would come back.

Then a friend reached out who knew I was really disappointed and said she would go with us. I was happy again. We found an excellent deal and I booked plane tickets the day after Mark’s birthday. I thought it was a gift from him.

But then Hannah started becoming distant. She was crying all the time. I got a call from the school because she had ran out of music class because they played a song that reminded her of her dad. This wasn’t like her. She got through Mark’s birthday fine. It hit me that it might be the Hawaii trip so I told her therapist we might need to work on that as the trip got closer.

Then a week after we booked we got an email that the plane tickets were cancelled. No reason. Just ”unable to be booked”.

My friend wanted to rebook. I said no. We weren’t going. We needed to take this as a message from God.

I thought we needed more time. I thought I was ready but looking back I think we both needed some time. I knew there was a reason it didn’t work out.

I found out the reason

Had we gone to Hawaii when we had planned, we would have found out about another devastating loss while we were in Hawaii. It would have been another days before we could get home and home to support and love. I honestly think if we would have been in Hawaii again and found out about another loss, it would have destroyed us. It would have been far too much.

God protected us. I like to think Mark had some plan in it too 🙂. We’ve never had where a plane will take your money only to say “sorry, we just can’t take it” with no explanation.

Thank you God for always being there for us. Making sure we are protected and okay. Thanks for watching over my baby girl.

God interventions are inevitable. They happen all the time. Sometimes we have no idea they happen and probably never will. Sometimes it’s as simple as a slight delay in our morning routine, making us late and therefore missing that car accident. We have no idea how many times God has intervened in our lives to protect or guide us.

We also have God interventions that are obvious and can’t be explained by any other way but a God intervention, or like my sister-in-law used to say “not a coincidence but a God incidence”.

I’d like to share of a God incidence that I recently had the honor of being the recipient of.

As many know, I went to a widow’s retreat in Alys Beach in July 2021. While I was incredibly nervous to go, I was so glad I did. I was able to meet 20 widows in the same period of life as myself and have made lifelong friends who truly understand. I was also able to do a lot of healing there.

In November 2021, I heard about another widow’s retreat but this one was a national retreat in Georgia and there would be 200 widows and cost quite a bit more. I was hesitant to sign up as I had just spent thousands of dollars purchasing my books, I had a wedding in California in January 2022 and a girls trip with five of my friends and Hannah to Hawaii in March 2022. I had a lot of expenses and I wasn’t sure if I could financially make it happen. One of the helpers/workers at the widow’s retreat in July had reached out to me and told me if I needed help financially to please let them know and they would make it happen for me. I was so grateful and told her I would pray about it and let her know.

The day after I had that conversation, my boss announced at work that overtime was approved and there was no limit to the overtime worked.

Well, if that isn’t an answer to prayer I don’t know what is. I signed up for the retreat that very day.

This isn’t the God incidence I was talking about.

Fast forward to January 2022. I was still stressing out a little bit about finances. I had worked a ton of overtime but things were still a bit tight and I knew I had to save up a bit more for the Hawaii trip. I always hate asking for anything but I reached out to the one who had reached out to me before. I told her I had the ticket for the retreat and my rental car but if the offer was still open to let me stay at someone’s house I would love to accept the offer. She was very supportive and said she would be happy to look into it and get back to me. A couple days later she reached back saying a member of the praise team had a room in her house for me and I could stay with her. She hadn’t been at our widow’s retreat in July so I didn’t know her but I knew I was in good hands and I was incredibly grateful that I could save that expense.

Then my world came crashing down. The girls trip to Hawaii was canceled. It may not seem like a big deal but it was to me. As most know, I was on the beach of Hawaii when I found out my husband had only hours to live (as a side note, he ended up living 5 more days). I will never forget that moment and I don’t think it’s something you could ever forget, honestly. I had done a lot of healing at the widow’s retreat with a member of the support team so I felt much better going to a beach but the sound of waves is still hard. One of the hardest parts for me was knowing Hawaii was the place I found out my husband was dying. I didn’t want Hawaii to be a bad place for me and I knew my husband wouldn’t want that either. I knew going back would be hard but I desperately wanted to. I wanted to go back and heal. I knew going back to the same island would be too hard so we had planned to go to a different island. While I was scared to go, I was working really hard to therapeutically be ready to go. I was working hard both financially and emotionally to go for both Hannah and I. I finally was in a place that I was feeling like I could go and heal….and then it was canceled. I felt like my healing was going backward instead of forward and that was absolutely crushing to me. It was very hard and to try to explain just how hard is near impossible to put into words.

It was a few days after the trip was canceled that I got a text from the same person who worked with me at the widow’s retreat and I give a lot of credit to for helping me heal. She’s the reason why the sound of waves is no longer triggering and how I can think of beaches as relaxing again. She’s also the first person I reached out to when I booked the plane tickets to Hawaii and couldn’t stop crying and panicking. She calmed me down and encouraged me, saying I could do this and this is a step towards healing. Obviously she is very important to me.

Her text simply said “Are you ready for the retreat? I’m excited to have you stay at my house!”

I was very confused. I knew I wasn’t staying at her house. I texted her back saying I was staying at someone else’s house and told her who.

She didn’t understand but said this person only lived a few blocks from her so we would still be able to see each other and get together. I was relieved that I would be able to see her and spend extra time with her. Secretly I was a bit disappointed I wasn’t staying with her because I thought it would be amazing to be able to spend a lot of time with the person who helped me heal so much and such an incredible support to me but I didn’t want to say anything and concentrated on the fact that I would be able to see her at least.

Then a few hours later she texted back and told me she worked it out that I would be able to stay with her. She didn’t know what had happened but somehow I was put on her list and there had been a “misunderstanding”. But she just felt like she needed to work it out so I could stay with her and she did.

When I found this out, I knew this had to be a God incidence. I explained what had happened with the Hawaii trip. She knew how much anxiety I was feeling about going back to Hawaii and she also knew I was looking forward to healing more. She knew everything and had helped me so she also knew how devastating it was to me to have this trip canceled. She was amazed again by how God intervened and she told me she couldn’t wait for the retreat and to see me “God is going to bring more healing to you at this retreat! Trust Him!”

God is amazing. He knew how much I needed this person, especially at a time when I was feeling so low. There was no explanation as nobody else on the team knew that I had reached out looking for a place to stay. I didn’t want everyone knowing and was so embarrassed to even ask one person. How I got on that list is beyond me. I never should have been on her list….but yet I was. A God incidence.

Anyone who has read my book knows that the way Hannah came into our lives can only be described as a God incidence. There was really no explanation as to how we were able to adopt Hannah. I still can’t believe how everything came to be. The only explanation is God intervened. He knew she needed to be with us and He was going to make it happen.

And He does it again. I’m obviously meant to go to this widow’s retreat and stay with the person who helped me heal in the most amazing way.

God is good all the time.

Struggling to find my identity has been something that has really been hard for me.

Mark and I were married for almost 19 years. In those 19 years, Mark always needed me. There were times his health was better than others but there was always a need. There was always the next surgery, the next hospitalization or appointment. He always needed me by his side in case he was sick or fell. I knew that I would always be needed. It was exhausting. It was harder than anyone ever knew.

But I was needed. I had a purpose.

After he passed, I struggled with learning to find “me”. For years, I was a caregiver. Now, it was just me and Hannah. People would ask what I liked to do and I couldn’t give them an answer. For years, I didn’t do anything for me. It was eye opening that I couldn’t even answer a simple question like “What do you like to do?”

I started pouring myself into writing my book. I figured that was my new purpose. I knew it was time to tell our story. That kept me very busy. While it was stressful and a lot of work, I had a purpose again.

Then my book was complete. My initial book signings were done.

Now what?

I often sit and wonder what I’m supposed to do. What is my purpose? What is my identity? I remember Mark would often tell me that he had no idea what he was doing here as he felt he was just taking up space. I would always tell him he had a purpose. I didn’t understand why he felt that way. After all, weren’t we enough for a “purpose”? I wish with all my heart I could go back in time, give him a hug and just tell him I love him, I understand and I’m here for him. That’s really all he wanted to hear, not the obvious.

I’m beyond grateful for Hannah. I know I have a purpose in being her mom. I’m not the best mom but I am the mom God has chosen me to be for Hannah. For that I’m blessed beyond anything I could imagine.

But beyond being a mom, who am I? What am I supposed to do? Where do I go from here? My goal was to write a book. I’ve done that. Many people have told me to start another book. I know that’s always an option which is why I still write. But I no longer have that strong desire to really push myself to do that at this time. Writing a book is hard work, expensive and takes a lot out of a person. I need the mental, physical and financial break for a bit. Those who have authored a book know what I’m talking about.

It doesn’t help that we are in February in Wisconsin and as I’m writing this, it is 0 degrees outside. January and February in Wisconsin are the most depressing months you can ever imagine. My “healing” trip with friends was cancelled so that doesn’t help. We are also coming up on March which is Mark’s birthday and his kidney transplant anniversary month. So I’m already feeling down and defeated, dreading that month coming up. Add grief and questioning yourself to all of that and sometimes it’s just too much.

So what’s next? I have no idea. I wish I knew. I hate feeling like “nothing”. Like I just don’t know what lies ahead with no clear goals.

I’m truly beginning to understand just what Mark felt like. I know he knows now exactly why he was here when he just wasn’t sure why. I also know I will understand one day. But for now, it’s just really hard to truly get it.

I hesitated about writing this. I wasn’t sure how people would react to it. But the truth is grief is tricky. It is sneaky. Feelings pop up when you least expect it. And it can lead to more confusing and guilty feelings.

I was introduced to a friend, Caleh, a few years ago on Facebook when our husbands were struggling with health issues. We were support for each other during some tough times. We both had daughters the same age and Caleh had a younger daughter with the same name as my daughter. We had so much in common and we got along great.

We had no idea our husbands would pass only a few weeks of each other. Yet another thing in common.

We’ve walked the same grief timeline. We’ve been there for each other through some tough milestones. We’ve talked about honest feelings that nobody would understand. 

In the summer of 2021, Hannah and I flew to visit and meet them for the first time. They lived in California and we lived in Wisconsin. We were all nervous about meeting for the first time as anyone would be. But the connection was instant. It was like we had known each other all our lives. 

A bond no one could break.

It was shortly after we met them, that Caleh met someone and started dating. In the fall of 2021 they got engaged and planned for a wedding in early 2022. I was honestly so happy for her and the girls! I had never met her fiancee but I saw how happy Caleh and the girls were and I was ecstatic for them. I was honored when we were invited to the wedding and there was no way we were going to miss it.

I wasn’t prepared for the feelings both Hannah and I felt as we were getting closer to the wedding, though.

It’s hard to explain how you can be so incredibly happy for someone and yet at the same time feel sadness. I know that sounds selfish. Why couldn’t I just be happy? I can tell you I was happy so the fact that I felt any sadness was hard for me to handle. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just forget me for a bit? But I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever get my “chapter two”. I didn’t feel ready for it though which made me wonder—is something wrong with me that I’m not in the same place? I myself couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t just be happy. But this shows just how grief is. It is confusing. It is a mixture of emotions. You can be happy one minute and crying the next. 

As the day got closer, Hannah started showing some anxiety. She told me she didn’t want to go. I knew she really did want to go. She was just nervous about going. She couldn’t explain why she was nervous and I understood that. I couldn’t explain why I was so happy and sad. I didn’t get it so I couldn’t expect Hannah to understand. Maybe seeing Caleh getting married would remind her of her dad dying. Maybe it would show her what could happen in the future with us and she wasn’t ready for it. Maybe she felt like since the girls now would have a stepdad, they wouldn’t understand her grief. She has such a bond with the girls and maybe she was afraid the bond would suddenly disappear now that things were different. I don’t know. I don’t even think Hannah knew. But she was nervous. And I told her it was okay to feel those conflicting emotions. It was normal. 

We got to California and we were so happy to see everyone. I loved seeing Hannah’s huge smile when she saw the girls—her friends who understood her better than anyone. 

Then came the time for the wedding.

Caleh had her daughters walk her down the aisle. It was beautiful. It also was too much for Hannah to see.

The minute she saw them, she started crying. “Mom, I want to go home”

My poor baby girl.

I encouraged her to breathe and hold in the tears. I wanted to be able to stay and see the ceremony. But it was obvious she wasn’t going to be able to. We had to leave. We were sitting in the front so there wasn’t going to be a sneaky way out. Everyone saw us leave—an innocent little girl who couldn’t help but cry.

I took Hannah into the bathroom as she sobbed. I asked her if she knew what the tears were about. “I don’t know Mom. I wish I knew but I just don’t. I can’t go back. I just can’t do it. I’m so sorry.”

We weren’t able to go back and watch the ceremony. Every time we tried, she would get emotional again. 

After the ceremony she was able to calm down and we were able to join everyone. We were surrounded by love. The oldest daughter asked if we were okay as she didn’t see us. When I explained it was just a little too hard, she simply said “Oh, I understand”. We knew she did. Just a couple days ago, she herself had had a really hard time.

Grief is hard.

What touched me so much was when Caleh took Hannah aside after the ceremony. She took her hands in hers and told Hannah she knew it was hard for her to be there but it meant a lot to her. She told Hannah it was okay to be sad. She looked Hannah in the eyes and focused on her. For Caleh to take the time out of her special day to comfort Hannah meant so much to both of us. Hannah felt heard. She felt so guilty for being sad. She wanted to be strong and be there for Caleh. But we all knew grief is hard. It’s unpredictable. We all understood each other.

Caleh knew we were happy for all of them. She also knew seeing her getting married brought up a lot of emotions. Confusing, mixed and hard emotions. Not just for us but for a lot of people that day. 

There was so much love, support and understanding that day. More understanding than we have ever seen before. 

At one point during the dance, a song was played that Mark and I had danced to. We didn’t dance very much at all but I remember dancing to one particular song in his car room. I remember dancing with him, smiling, and thinking to myself “you’re gonna remember this moment the rest of your life”. When that song came on, it was too much. I went to the bathroom and cried. Hannah and the girls came looking for me as they wanted me to take a picture of them. When they saw me crying, I explained what the tears were for. Caleh’s daughter said “Oh, Miss Tammy, I get it. We all get it and we understand” and she gave me a big hug.

And I knew they truly understood and got it.

It was an amazing day. It was a happy day. It was also a tough day. It was an emotional day. 

And we all understood each other. 

It’s taken me awhile to realize that you can be so incredibly happy and sad at the same time. And it’s okay. It doesn’t make you a terrible person. I’m not a selfish person. I’m human. 

It makes you real. 

It makes you normal.

Covid.
A New Business.
A Widow’s Retreat.
Writing A Book.

Looking back at 2021, things happened that I never would have expected. I never would have thought I would have contracted Covid. I never would have thought I would have started a new business with Scentsy and earned awards. I never would have thought I would go to a widows retreat, alone, miles away. I never would have thought I would become an official author.

Yet, here I am. I’ve done it all.

I couldn’t be more proud of myself.

It wasn’t an easy year by any means. It’s hard to explain how even two years later, grief can be so difficult. Grief will always be a part of our journey. 2021 would have been our 20th wedding anniversary. I have no doubt that if Mark was here we would have made it. We had a marriage that went through so much but we stuck together. Celebrating 20 years was not something I wanted to celebrate alone. But I did. And I survived.

Hannah and I will always struggle with grief. We will always miss Mark. And that’s okay.

Yet, despite still grieving heavily, we had quite a year. Hannah and I both struggled with Covid. It took almost 3 weeks for me to feel myself again. Hannah–she was sick for a couple days. But we made it. We survived. We thank God we did. We know many people we weren’t so lucky, including my uncle and sister-in-law whom we miss deeply.

After recovering from Covid, I needed something to keep my mind busy. Scentsy was always something Mark really enjoyed. I decided to join as something to do. I never would have guessed that I would be one of only 14% of consultants who hit the Scensational Start Level 2. It continues to be something that I enjoy.

In the summer, I did something I never thought I would do. I went to Florida to a Widows Retreat. All. By. Myself. I was absolutely terrified! It took so much courage for me to do that. It was completely out of my comfort zone. But I was so glad I took that step. I went there a broken and lonely widow but I came back feeling healed, strong and ready to keep moving forward and doing what was best for Hannah and I.

What am I missing?

Oh, yeah! The book! 🙂

It was always a dream of mine to write a book. Mark really pushed me to do it. But the timing never felt right. I was an exhausted caregiver and mother to a toddler. The last thing I felt I could do was take on writing a book. But when Mark passed, I knew it was time. I also knew why I didn’t feel the timing was right before. God’s hand was all over Mark’s passing and I needed to include that story. I listened to God and I was so glad I did. Everything fell into place with the book and it was published at a perfect time. I don’t know how many hands my book has fell into but if it falls into one person’s hands and helps them, that’s all that matters.

As I leave 2021, I feel peace. I feel hope. I feel joy. I miss Mark. I think of him every day. I always will. But I’m another year closer to seeing him again. I know I will see him again. In the meantime, my journey isn’t complete here. I don’t know what 2022 has in store for me but I’m ready for it.

Happy New Year to all my family and friends. I love you all!

I want to thank you for coming to my website and looking around!

It has always been such a dream of mine to write a book and it feels so surreal that it has happened! I love writing and my hope is to continue writing and updating my readers on our life as Hannah and I continue moving forward. You are welcome to follow my blog here and continue to follow us! Click on the link “Life With Tammy and Hannah”. At the bottom of the page you will see where you can subscribe to my blog.

We have been through quite the journey together but I know our journey is only beginning and God has such wonderful things in store for us!

We have been so blessed to have amazing support through our family and friends. I want to thank you for being there for both of us and we love you all!